40+ Tuesday Jokes To Keep You Laughing Through To Hump Day

Joan Agie
Dec 12, 2023 By Joan Agie
Originally Published on Jan 06, 2021
Edited by Monisha Kochhar
A portrait of a book entitled "Tuesday with Morrie"
Age: 0-99
Read time: 5.3 Min

Did you know that the word 'Tuesday' hails from the Anglo-Saxon era, named after a Norse God of War? Fun fact, right?

In many people's opinion, the second day of the work week doesn't differ much from the first. Truly, Tuesdays can sometimes feel like a battleground, especially if you have a to-do list that's longer than a shopping list on Thanksgiving!

But don't you worry! Here's a perfect remedy, simply add some humor to your routine with this collection of funny Tuesday jokes! These Tuesday-specific zingers are bound to get you and your loved ones chuckling through the day. So, give these jokes a try to add some laughter to your routine and discover the lighter side of this weekday.

Hilarious Tuesday Jokes

Dive into this rollicking roundup of Tuesday-themed jests that will lighten your spirit and brighten your day. The beauty of a good joke is that it's contagious, you can't keep it to yourself!

So, take your pick from this hilarious collection and share your favorites. As a bonus, these gems make for awesome social media captions or statuses if you ever want to let your online circles in on the fun. After all, shared laughter makes for memorable moments and strengthens connections.

1. Why were the neighbors walking barefoot in their gardens? Because they were celebrating Open Toesday.

2. What is a ballerina's favorite day of the week? Tu-Tuesday.

3. On what day of the week, do monsters eat people? Chewsday.

4. How do you keep dreams alive on Tuesdays? By hitting the snooze button.

5. Why would you call February 22, 2022? A Two's day.

6. What’s another name for Tuesday? The second day of the hostage situation.

7. Why is there less air travel on Tuesdays? Because you’re supposed Tuesday grounded.

8. Why were One and Three envious of Two? Because it was Two's day.

9. How can people grow to like Tuesday? By realizing that it's the farthest day from the next Monday.

10. Why are Sundays stronger than Tuesdays? Because Tuesday is just a weak day.

11. Why were Taco Tuesdays introduced? So people could taco 'bout it the whole week.

12. What did Dad say when Mom asked him to go get the groceries alone? He said, "It's Twosday, you've got to come along with me."

13. What do Tuesdays always love to do when accused of being boring? Put the blame on Mondays.

14. What is the best Tuesday motivation? Thinking that there is a taco out there in the universe thinking of you too.

15. A woman walks into her psychiatrist's office and says, "I believe I can see into the future". The doctor asks, "When did this start?" and she replies, "Next Tuesday".

16. Why isn’t Tuesday the most depressing day of the week? Because there's a sadder day four days later.

17. Why don't Tuesdays participate in races? Because they always come third after Sundays and Mondays.

18. When does Tuesday not start with a 'T'? When it was Yesterday.

19. How can you speed up time on Tuesday? Throw a clock.

20. Why do Brits pronounce Tuesday as 'chooseday'? Because they drank the T.

Tuesday Morning Jokes

White February 2023 calendar with potted plant.

Embrace your Tuesday mornings with a splash of humor! Tuck these delightful early-day jests into your joke repertoire, and prepare to become the beacon of cheerfulness everyone needs.

Share a wisecrack or two and watch as the grins unfurl and the giggles cascade around you. You'll find that nothing beats the gratitude you'll receive for brightening up the start of someone's day with some lighthearted fun.

21. What is the case of a bad Monday called on a Tuesday morning? A pre-existing condition.

22. Why is a Tuesday morning not so bad? Because it's a sign that you survived the previous Monday morning.

23. Why did the employee leave the office on a Tuesday morning? Because his boss said, "Have a good day".

24. Why did the mayor stop asking farmers to attend meetings on Tuesday mornings? Because he realized none of them would turnip.

25. What similarity do Tuesday mornings and stress balls share? They both offer a chance to relieve tension after a hectic Monday.

26. Why did the bereaved woman refuse to watch the Tuesday morning news? Because she didn't want an additional Tuesday mourning.

One-Liner Tuesday Jokes

Who says humor has to be long-winded? Welcome to the wonderful world of Tuesday-themed one-liners!

These bite-sized jests pack a punch of hilarity in just a few words, proving that laughter truly is the best spice of life. They're quick to share, easy to remember, and just the thing to lift spirits.

Whether you're cheering up a friend, looking to lighten the mood, or simply want to celebrate the joy of Tuesday, these one-liners are sure to bring a smile to your face and a chuckle to your day.

27. Last week Tuesday was National Procrastination Day. Time to celebrate.

28. My childhood crush and I are getting married next week. Me on Tuesday and she on Saturday.

29. I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make it on Tuesdays."

30. I bought a second-hand time machine next Tuesday. They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore.

31. Just saw a fun fact that said, "Babies are more likely to be born on Tuesdays." As opposed to what? Adults being born on Tuesdays?

32. I went to a video shop the other day and asked, "Can I borrow 'Batman Forever'?" The guy said "No. You’ll have to bring it back on Tuesday".

Hope this treasury of Tuesday ticklers helped to add some laughter into your week! Remember, these jokes are not just the usual stuff for amusement, they're also an amazing tool to brighten someone's day, including yours.

And while some may be a bit corny or silly, they're all in good fun, designed to transform a typical Tuesday into a day full of smiles.

So try these out, whether it's to cheer up a friend on a random Tuesday night, bring a chuckle to your social media buddies, or simply add a dash of joy to your day. After all, laughter is the best recipe for a happy Tuesday!

Main image credit: Vincent Kie / Shutterstock.com

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Written by Joan Agie

Bachelor of Science specializing in Human Anatomy

Joan Agie picture

Joan AgieBachelor of Science specializing in Human Anatomy

With 3+ years of research and content writing experience across several niches, especially on education, technology, and business topics. Joan holds a Bachelor’s degree in Human Anatomy from the Federal University of Technology, Akure, Nigeria, and has worked as a researcher and writer for organizations across Nigeria, the US, the UK, and Germany. Joan enjoys meditation, watching movies, and learning new languages in her free time.

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