50+ Best Turtle Puns That Snap!

Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Dec 12, 2023 By Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Originally Published on Dec 01, 2020
Edited by Flora Wilson
Group of four giant turtles next to water pond.
Age: 0-99
Read time: 7.8 Min

Funny tortoise and turtle puns like the ones we have shell make you laugh.

Turtles are one of the oldest living reptiles on this planet who possess long life spans. Jonathan, the Seychelles giant tortoise, is said to be 187-188 years old and is the oldest living animal at this moment.

The main significant difference between turtles and tortoises are their habitats. Turtles are mainly aquatic animals, whereas tortoises prefer staying on land.

Turtles belong to reptile class, have a large shell across their back, and are defined as cold-blooded animals. So, take a dip with the sea turtle and have fun with our turtle puns that include funny turtle sayings, turtle one-liners, ninja turtle jokes, sea turtle puns and much more. Don't be shell shocked; just have some laughter.

If you want to read more puns about the sea, make sure you check out ocean jokes, and dolphin puns.

Best Turtle Puns

Turtles swims in a pond and basks on land in sunlight among rocks

A tortoise pun a day keeps the sea doctor away. Here we have the list of the best turtle puns that will help you up your turtle humour.

1. It was raining heavily today. I saw a turtle who was looking for a shell-ter to hide.

2. There was a turtle that stole a few items from a store. When he got caught, they sent him to the shell-block.

3. Yesterday my best friend and I decided to go to a turtle jokes class—unfortunately, it tortoise nothing.

4. I saw a turtle get electrocuted today while it was playing close to an electric board. I guess you can say that it was shell-shocked.

5. The turtle's birthday was coming up. So, her friends made plans with her to shell-ebrate her day.

6. I once met a brilliant chef that was a turtle. People called him the slow cooker.

7. A turtle in the forest decided to change his profession and take up photography. The other animals knew him as the snapping turtle.

8. An experimental scientist in our area once invented a new animal by crossing a giraffe with a kangaroo and a turtle. He named it the turtle neck jumper.

9. Turtles are good at winning battles probably because they are pretty perfect when it comes to shelling their enemies.

10. The turtle teacher at school said he's going to be teaching a new lesson on angles the next day. He told his turtle students to bring a protracturtle with them.

11. My nephew just won his first prize at a drawing and sketching competition at his school. We've always been in turtle awe of his artistic skills.

12. We heard from some people last day that a well-liked movie theatre in our area was getting demolished. We were all very sturtled by the news.

13. A turtle had a costume party one day. All of the invited turtles were told to wear turtle necks to the party.

14. A turtle volunteered at a relief centre after a flooding disaster. He is a very shellfless turtle.

15. Two turtles were standing in front of a waterfall. One of them said to the other turtle, "shall we jump?" The turtle replied, "yes, we shell."

16. Two turtles got engaged, but their engagement is due to be made offishell.

17. Two turtles were walking down the road and saw an old turtle who couldn't cross the street. So one of them helped him and said to the other, "my parents tortoise to be kind to everyone."

18. A mother turtle went to the doctor with her her little sea turtle son. No one could understand what the little turtle was saying as all of it was in ridleys.

19. One turtle was telling his best friend some jokes and puns. The friend laughed and said, "these are turtle-y hilarious."

Funny Turtle Puns

A little turtle humor never hurt anybody. We're sure about the fact that you're going to love these funny turtle puns and find a turtle pun that is perfect for friendly banter. We did turtle play on words and came up with the punniest turtle puns and also some funny turtle pun names. Take a peek.

20. Two turtles had an emotional and open-hearted conversation. One turtle said to another, "you know, I am such an introvert, but you can bring me outta my shell."

21. My brother and I saw a flying turtle yesterday. My brother called it a shellicopter.

22. My little sister wanted to know how turtles communicate with each other. I told her that they use shell phones.

23. I saw a turtle crossing the road today. It said it was trying to reach the Shell station.

24. Some turtles were taking photos again and again at the party. I guess they just love taking shell-fies.

25. Turtles usually don't forget anything probably because they all got turtle recall.

26. There was an accident today which was caused by a truckload of tortoise. It was a turtle disaster.

27. An Italian turtle was living in our area. The only thing it ever ate was turtleini.

28. I went to a library and asked the librarian for a book about turtles. She asked, "hardback?" I just said, "yes, and with a little head."

29. When a turtle dies, and forensics try to figure out its time of death, they just try to see how many turtle hours have passed.

30. My father and I went to a pet shop to get a turtle. My father said to the salesman, "bring us the turtles and make it snappy."

31. My mother told me to take a lesson on turtles when I told her that I wanted a pet turtle. So, I signed up for a turtorial.

32. Rapunzel got a pet turtle the other day. It was because she wanted to star in 'The Tortoise and the Hair' movie.

33. I had a pet turtle that always stayed up all night. I named it 'noc-turtle'.

34. The wife of Barack Obama just got a pet turtle. She named it 'Miss Shell Obama'.

35. I got a glass hutch for my pet turtle the other day. From that moment, I started calling it a see turtle.

36. Turtles can live for a long time. I guess it's because they have an excellent shellf life.

37. There was a turtle in the forest who said he'd never marry. I guess it was because he had already taken the vow of shellebacy.

38. I wanted to get a pet turtle who was female so that I could name it Herschel Walker.

Turtley Hilarious Puns

Lastly, we have a list of funny turtle puns, ninja turtle puns and other hilarious puns.

39. There was a turtle who could never keep a secret. Everyone called him a tur-tell.

40. The IRS was doing several audits, and they found a corporation that listed a turtle as their CEO. Well, it turned out that to be a shell company.

41. There is a ninja turtle who is fond of pastries. His name is Donutello.

42. Turtles are great comedians. They tell the most shell-larious jokes.

43. The turtles were having a new years party, and at the stroke of midnight, all the turtles shouted, "may you all have turtle-iffic new year."

44. The turtle couple had a Christmas party and invited everyone from the neighbourhood. Their neighbours came up to them and said, "you have such a nice shell-ection of Christmas cookies."

45. It is terrific if everyone gets together as one family and enjoys some slow time. The turtle families have been teaching us something which we shell-dom do.

46. Everyone in the turtle family receives two gifts during Christmas each year. But, because of finan-shell difficulties, none of them received much this year.

47. Cooking with my turtle grandma is never easy. She runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian.

48. There was a girl in the turtle school who wasn't much liked by everyone. It's because she was pretty shell-ow.

49. It was everyone's sacrifishell gifts that gave the newlywed poor turtle couple some hope that they'd be able to afford a honeymoon.

50. The important bill was shot down at turtle senate because it was seeking to introduce a new development which the mossbacks found hard to connect with.

51. Two turtles were getting married. The groom turtle said to the bride turtle, "we are a turtley perfect match."

52. The turtle decided to move away to the mountains, probably because she had enough of hare-racing adventures.

53. All the turtles love one particular social media platform. They're all on Snap-chat.

54. A little turtle was very happy on his birthday. It's because he knew he was the most spe-shell person for the day.

55. There was one turtle at the turtle school who always criticized others and seemed perfect herself. But she was just artifi-shell.

56. I learned about the new limited edition of my favourite turtle candies from a commer-shell I saw on TV.

57. A little turtle won the stand-up comedy show at the school. He was espe-shell-y hilarious.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly puns for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for turtle puns then why not take a look at fish puns, or for something different take a look at pirate jokes.

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Written by Rajnandini Roychoudhury

Bachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

Rajnandini Roychoudhury picture

Rajnandini RoychoudhuryBachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

With a Master of Arts in English, Rajnandini has pursued her passion for the arts and has become an experienced content writer. She has worked with companies such as Writer's Zone and has had her writing skills recognized by publications such as The Telegraph. Rajnandini is also trilingual and enjoys various hobbies such as music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading classic British literature. 

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