100 Best Paper Puns And Jokes

Jokes about paper can be used as a stress relief while studying.

Aren't wrapping paper puns funnier or card puns? Let's play a round of rock paper scissors to find out.

Paper humor is a topic that can be enjoyed by both nerdy and not-so-nerdy people of all ages. Who wouldn't want to read funny puns on something we use literally every day?

Paper humor can be of many types considering the different types of paper we have. We can make paper towel puns, cardboard puns, book puns, toilet paper puns, mail puns, and the list goes on. Here's a list of funny puns, and jokes on paper that are nothing like dad jokes.

Toilet Paper Jokes That Are Not So ‘Tearible’

Toilet paper is something we literally use every day. It is a necessity. Though there might be toilet paper shortages at times, there will never be a shortage of toilet paper jokes and puns. Check out this list of toilet paper jokes.  

1. What kind of life does a toilet paper live? It's generally on a roll.

2. What is a two-dimensional owl called? A paper towl.

3. Why was everyone stress-buying toilet papers when they heard about the incoming asteroid? Because they knew paper beats rock.

4. Why was the toilet paper unstoppable? Because it was on a roll.

5. How do you recycle toilet paper? Carefully, with gloves on!

6. Why isn't anyone shaking hands in the pandemic situation? Because everyone is out of toilet paper.

7. Why did a toilet paper feel the need to roll down the hill? Because it had to get to the bottom of it.

8. How does toilet paper feel at the end of a long week? It feels really wiped.

9. Why couldn't the toilet paper win the race? Because it was wiped out.

10. What will happen when the world runs out of toilet paper? Depends.

11. What happened to the lady who was looking for toilet papers in the mall? She found her prince Charmin.

12. What happened to the toilet paper companies due to the recent sell outs? They were on Fiora.

13. What did the customer care say when I called them to complain about the dysfunctional layer of the product? They did not re-ply.

14. What happens after you use a good quality toilet paper? You Sparkle.

15. What can you call the increasing price of toilet paper? A rip-off.

Funny Paper Jokes

Here's a list of paper jokes that is totally worth paying per joke.

16. What do you call someone who is really tired of playing card games? Cardboard.

17. What is the favorite sport of a cardboard? Boxing.

18. What is a belt made of cardboard called? A waist of paper.

19. How can a cardboard gun be reloaded? With paper clips.

20. Why is it more profitable to buy cardboard boxes online? You always get an extra one.

21. What is a paper's favorite type of fabric? Velvet.

22. Why did I give up on origami as a hobby? There was a lot of paperwork.

23. What happened to the origami company I used to work for? It folded.

24. What is the advantage of a paper that is about to be used for origami? It's ten fold.

25.  Why did the origami company shut down? The company was paperless.

26. What did a piece of paper say to a binder? I love you a hole punch.

27. What did a dog say after walking over a piece of sand paper? Rough Rough.

28. What would you call a piece of paper that has a bull on it? Bull sheet.

29. Ever wondered why a piece of paper never wins a race? Because paper is stationary.

30. What did a blind person say when he touched a sandpaper? "Who wrote this nonsense?"

31. What did I do when a cop pulled me and said "papers"? I said "scissors" and drove away.

32. What do you call a paper who is a musical star? Rapping paper.

33. What did one answer sheet say to another answer sheet when the exam started? Let's role.

34 Which paper did the kid invite to his birthday party? Paper popper.

35. Who scares a paper the most? A Scissor.

36. What's the similarity between a joke and a paper bag? Both can be recycled.

37. What is a printer's least favorite kind of sandwich? Paper jam.

38. What kind of paper always stick to each other? Adhesive paper.

39. What did the sad paperclip say to his friend? I'm barely holding myself together.

40. What kind of paper do animals hate? Parchment paper.

41. What happened when the paper bomb blasted? Everyone crumbled.

Newspaper Puns

We have some newspaper puns that will make it to your day's headlines.

42. I was late to drive my daughter to school because I was reading the newspaper. She was really upset with me as I am always behind the Times.

43. My husband and I hate newspaper puzzles. We are happily married for twenty years and there has never been a crossword.

44. I follow the newspaper truck every day. You can say I like to keep up with the Times.

45. My younger brother is like a newspaper. He has new issues every day.

46. A newspaper company was about to go out of business. It was de-pressed.

47. Last week I read about the likelihood of a manmade global catastrophe. It was on Newsday clock.

48. The 600 year old vampire went to the corner store to buy a load of newspapers. He said, "You might think they're old fashioned but to me, they are all news."

49. I recently found out you can recycle newspapers. I am sorry if that's old news to you.

50. There is a similarity between the local newspapers and my blood. Both consist of type O.

51. The electrician reads the newspaper all the time. I guess he just likes to stay current.

52. I often read The Sun. It is a hard tabloid to swallow.

53. Last week I submitted 10 puns to my local newspaper for a pun writing contest but none of them got selected. Apparently, there was no pun in ten did.

54. Yesterday there was an article on the wastage of food in the newspaper. I guess they are raisin awareness among people.

55. Today, there was an article on newspapers vs. Reddit. So iReddit.

56. The dinosaurs newspaper had to shut down. Apparently, their ratings were getting killed by the social meteor.

57. Due to the pandemic, we ran out of toilet papers and had to use newspaper. The Times are tough.

Puns About Paper

We are all so used to reading papers. Let's read some puns funny enough to make us laugh. Here are some fresh paper puns.

58. My dad has been constantly asking me to make paper planes with him. He really wanted it so I folded.

59. My math teacher has often been found alone with a bunch of graph papers. I bet he is plotting something against the students.

60. I made a paper plane last night and was about to make it fly when my brother said he wants the A4 seat.

61. There was an unexpected wiggle on the graph paper. I think this is what you can call a plot twist.

62. Once I failed to fly a paper plane I made. I always thought I was good at making paper planes but sadly, the paper plane remained stationary.

63. Once, we were so poor during the pandemic that we had to use calendars instead of toilet papers. I am so glad those days are behind us.

64. There's a reason why burrito isn't made out of papers. It will be tearable idea.

65. There are no black envelopes in the mail because black mail is a crime.

66. Two envelopes gave birth to a baby. The baby was mail.

67. I watched a movie that is about a lone piece of graph paper. It was fine but I felt the plot was scattered.

68. There's a similarity between my jokes and a piece of paper. They are both tearable.

69. I had to go to ten different stores to find some paper towels. You can now call me a Bounty hunter.

70. I took up a job as the repairman for the paper currency machine but my job isn't making cents.

71. The new movie on graph papers is a disappointment. The plot is very much predictable and the special f(x) isn't that great either.

72. I am trying to design some piece of paper. I hope I get an A4 for my efforts.

73. As a paper collector, the only Audi I can A4'd is a paper Audi.

74. Yesterday someone stole my piece of paper. I lost my sheet.

75. Michael asked Pam for a piece of paper. Pam asked "A4 paper?". Michael said "no, a for animal".

76. I applied for an origami course at the university last week but my rejection letter arrived today. I can't figure out what to make of it.

77. I saw ten tiny ants in my room on a cold night. I made them a house made of cardboards. So I guess I am their landlords and they are my ten-ants.

78. I prefer writing on pages that have margins. Blank pages are where I have to draw the line.

79. I started selling notebooks made of handmade papers. The margins are pretty tight.

80. The printer was making a lot of noise because the papers were jamming.

81. The Terminator found the toilet paper in Aisle B, Back.

82. I am starting to write a book about an x-axis and y-axis on a piece of graph paper. But I can't figure out what the plot is going to be.

83. I got a paper cut while doing my Statistics homework but I can't figure out the odds of getting that?

84. You should never trust someone who owes a lot of graph paper because they might be plotting something.

85. Two papers broke up because they were not on the same page. One was an A4 and other was 8.5 x 11.

86. The paper loves the printer because the printer is like a Brother to the paper.

87. A porcupine wanted some toilet papers. He said he likes it Quilted.

88. I drew a landscape on a piece of paper but didn't like it. I am confused if I should throw the paper or I should Shred-it.

89. I can't find a very important paper that I have to submit. I will have to re-search the paper.

90. The fact that my money printing machine can only print paper money doesn't make any cents.

91. I wrote some emotional words for my sister on a piece of folded paper but she threw it away. She never card for me.

92. Mother paper has to do everything for her family. Her daughter tried to take some of the jobs off her but she doesn't shred.

93. The paper got tense because a student was about to solve some grammar quizzes on it.

94. A paper's favorite kind of candy is tic tac toe.

95. The cowboy who was wearing paper clothes got arrested because he was rustling.

96. I went to a pay-per-craft exhibition last week.

97. As the days went by, the calendar turned week.

98. A paper had a problem with all other papers. So everyone called him issue paper.

99. A really spicy paper is called black pepper.

100. I wanted to watch a drawing competition but it folded. It was on paper view.