30+ Pen Puns That Are Pen-fully Funny

Georgia Stone
Dec 12, 2023 By Georgia Stone
Originally Published on Sep 28, 2020
Fact-checked by Isobel Murphy
Fountain pen on a grey table.

Now the nights are starting to draw in and the weather is cooling down, you might be preparing to spend a bit more time indoors.

But sometimes, too much time in close proximity to their siblings can lead to tears, so from indoor camping to energetic exercise ideas, Kidadl are here to help keep the whole family happy and entertained. To keep everyone laughing, why not try a few funnies from this hilarious list of pen-related puns?

For more related jokes, take a look at these Bowling Puns.

Pen Puns

Have a write good laugh with these puns about pens.

1. Why do nurses need a red pen? Because they might need to draw blood!

2. What do you call a penguin without a pen? A guin!

3. Why did Old McDonald call his pig ink? Because he kept running out of the pen!

4. Whatdid the little pen say to the big pen when he was trying to make a friend? Will you be my pen-pal?

5. What are the rules that pens live by? The Pen Commandments!

6. How did the pen act when he went on holiday to Italy? Pen in Rome, do as the Romans do!

7. What is a pen's favourite hobby? Pen-Pin Bowling!

8. Why didn't the pen move? Because it was stationery!

9. Why are pens the toughest stationery in the jail? Because they always do long sentences!

10. Why can you never rely on a pen?  Because they run out when you need them most!

11. What do you call it when a pen loses its head? De-cap-itation!

12. I was the victim of a serious crime, when a man held a pen to my throat and demanded my purse and jewellery. I was robbed at ballpoint!

13. Where do pens go after they've committed a crime? The pen-itentiary!

14. What are the magic words a pen says to open a locked door? O-pen sesame!

15. Do you know who won when the Pencil Football Club played against the Pen Football Club? Neither, it was a draw!

16. Why did the pen have to go out for a run? To work off his pen-t up energy!

17. What do you get when you cross a pen with water? A fountain!

18. I bought a new pen that can write underwater! And it can write lots of other words, too!

19. What do you call a selfish pen? Ink-onsiderate!

20. I played a prank on my friend and put super glue on his fountain pen. It’s been a year and he's still mad: he just can’t let it go!

A person writing the name on a paper with a pen.

Pencil Puns

Get straight to the point with these hilarious pencil related gags.  

21. Why was the pencil so smelly? Because it was a number two!

22. What did the pen say when he was arguing with the pencil? Errr, so what's your point!

23. Why can you never rely on a pencil? Because they snap under pressure!

24. One day, I was writing a letter when my pencil broke. I tried my best to finish, but it was pointless!

25. I just got engaged to a pencil. I can't wait for my parents to come and meet my bride 2B!

26. Where do pencils travel on vacation? To Pencil-vania!

27. Why can you never trust a pencil? They're sketchy!

28. What did the pencil say to the fastest cowboy in the West? Draw!

29. Who is in charge of the pencil case? The ruler!

30. What do you call a pencil without an end? A pen!

31. William Shakespeare wrote some of his best work whilst deciding which pencil to use: 2B or not 2B?!

32. Why was the blunt pencil so bad at making speeches? It never had a point!

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Written by Georgia Stone

Bachelor of Arts specializing in French with Film Studies, Bachelor of Arts (Year Abroad) specializing in Literature, History, Language, Media, and Art

Georgia Stone picture

Georgia StoneBachelor of Arts specializing in French with Film Studies, Bachelor of Arts (Year Abroad) specializing in Literature, History, Language, Media, and Art

Georgia is an experienced Content Manager with a degree in French and Film Studies from King's College London and Bachelors degree from Université Paris-Sorbonne. Her passion for exploring the world and experiencing different cultures was sparked during her childhood in Switzerland and her year abroad in Paris. In her spare time, Georgia enjoys using London's excellent travel connections to explore further afield.

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Fact-checked by Isobel Murphy

Bachelor of Arts specializing in History

Isobel Murphy picture

Isobel MurphyBachelor of Arts specializing in History

With a love for exploring cities and finding outdoor spaces to enjoy, Isobel has spent her life exploring various cities in the UK, from her hometown of Surrey to Birmingham where she studied history for three years. She is passionate about sports and enjoys watching and playing, as well as baking and spending quality time with her loved ones.

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