Kidadl

Top 40 'The IT Crowd' Quotes From The Hilarious Channel 4 Sitcom

Contents
One doesn't need to be British to watch the IT Crowd.

Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more

The IT Crowd is one of Channel 4's most iconic BAFTA-winning sitcoms.

It was on the air for four years with 24 episodes total. The fifth series of six more episodes were canceled at the production stage -the exact reasons for which remain unknown.

Although short-lived by modern American sitcom standards, 'IT Crowd' has become a cult classic both in the UK and overseas. The episodic series follows the many follies and shenanigans of the IT department in the basement of the fictional Denholm Industries in London. Below are some of the most famous 'IT Crowd' quotes that fans of the show will instantly recognize.

If you liked reading these funny quotes, you could check out 'The Office' quotes and April Ludgate quotes.

The Funniest Maurice Moss 'IT Crowd' Quotes

The best 'IT Crowd' quotes are trendy on the internet.

Portrayed wonderfully by Richard Ayoade, Moss is the stereotypical tech geek taken to an extreme. Although a competent technician and a smart person, Moss has minimal social skills, being almost robotic. No surprise that the silliest of one-liners come from Moss, so here are some of the funniest. If you're searching for Moss from 'IT Crowd' quotes, Top 10 'IT Crowd quotes', or best the 'IT Crowd' quotes on the internet, you'll love these.

1. "Fire - exclamation mark - fire - exclamation mark - help me - exclamation mark. 123 Cavendon Road. Looking forward to hearing from you. Yours truly, Maurice Moss."

- Series One, 'IT Crowd'.

2. "I came here to drink milk and kick ass Jen. And I've just finished my milk"

- Series Four, 'IT Crowd'.

3. "What kind of operating system does it use? (Bomb disposal unit answers 'Vista') ... we're going to die!"

- Series Four, 'IT Crowd'.

4. "Hurray, he's kicked the ball. Now the ball's over there. That man has it now. That's an interesting development."

- Series Three, 'IT Crowd'.

5. "Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them along with this slice of humble pie, that comes direct from the oven of shame, set at gas mark 'egg on your face.'...I sort of forgot what I was talking about."

- Series Two, 'IT Crowd'.

6. "I can see why she's divorced, she's very divorceable."

- Series Two, 'IT Crowd'.

7. "Women, eh? What are they? Who knows? I can't live with them. Can't find them... sometimes."

- Series Four, 'IT Crowd'.

8. "Two eyes... that's the best amount of eyes."

- Series One, 'IT Crowd'.

9. "A plan? Let me put on my slightly larger glasses." (Proceeds to do so.)

- Series One, 'IT Crowd'.

10. "Woman in the office: I like your glasses.

Moss: I'm afraid they're not for sale."

- Series Four, 'IT Crowd'.

11. "Have you been to the toilets on floor twelve? It's like going on a holiday! I try not to go at home now. I save it up."

- Series One, 'IT Crowd'.

12. "I've got the blues, Jen."

- Series Two, 'IT Crowd'.

13. "Sorry for your loss. It's not like you lost a pen, is it? It's so much worse. Would you like a pen? I have a spare one."

- Series Two, 'IT Crowd'.

14. "Now will you watch your ruddy language? My ears are not a toilet."

- Series Three, 'IT Crowd'.

15. "Put seatbelts on your ears Roy... for I am going to take 'em on the ride of their lives."

- Series Three, 'IT Crowd'.

16. (With flaming fire extinguisher on his hands) "I'll just put this over here with the rest of the fire."

- Series One, 'IT Crowd'.

Popular 'IT Crowd' Quotes From Roy

Many people are obsessed with random 'IT Crowd' quotes.

Although more sociable than Moss, Roy is still quite the typical representative of the cynical IT guy - with an added effeminate tinge. Doubtless, Roy and Moss's dynamic chemistry is the source of some of the 'IT Crowd's funniest banters. Those looking for Roy 'IT Crowd' quotes, Sports 'IT Crowd' quotes, and Richmond 'IT Crowd' quotes can go over these quotes to amuse themselves.

17. "Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

- Series One, 'IT Crowd'.

18. "Roy: I'm a man Jen! He's a man! We're men!

Jen: Okay, okay, tell me how you are feeling.

Roy: I feel delicate, and, um, annoyed... and I think I'm ugly."

- Series One, 'IT Crowd'.

19. "Roy: I'm disabled.

Staff: How?

Roy: How what?

Staff: How are you disabled?

Roy: Er, leg disabled."

- Series Two, 'IT Crowd'.

20. "Unnamed Employee: She just collapsed. I'll phone an ambulance. Give us your jacket, mate.

Roy: What?

Employee: She looks cold, I wanna put it on her shoulders.

Roy: She doesn't look cold."

- Series Three, 'IT Crowd'.

21. "Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"

- Series Four, 'IT Crowd'.

22. "Yep. Didn't know what a stress machine was this morning and now we have two of 'em."

- Series One, 'IT Crowd'.

23. "Yes. A pizza with grapes, please. What...? Show...? You have a pizza with grapes? Do grapes even go with pizza... oh. Oh, I see. Oh, you got me. Oh, very funny, very mature."

- Series Two, 'IT Crowd'.

24. "I'm a woman!"

- Series Two, 'IT Crowd'.

25. "That's exactly what I'll do in the past, when it happens again, last week."

- Series Four, 'IT Crowd'.

26. "The last time I exercised was never."

- Series Two, 'IT Crowd'.

27. "Oh thanks Jen, that's really helpful. That's really good advice."

- Series Four, 'IT Crowd'.

28. "Moss: What's in it for you?

Roy: A cut.

Moss: All right, you're in for half a percent.

Roy: Twenty-five percent.

Moss: Half a percent.

(pause)

Roy: Deal."

- Series Two, 'IT Crowd'.

Funniest 'IT Crowd' Quotes From Jen

Jen fakes her way into the job at the IT department with feigned computer experience, but soon becomes a core part of the show's IT trio as the "relationship manager". If you're one of those people who love to recite quotes from the 'IT Crowd', you're going to love these quotes by Jen.

29. "With all due respect John, I am the head of IT and I have it on good authority that if you type 'Google' into Google, you can break the Internet. So please, no one try it, even for a joke."

- Series Two, 'IT Crowd'.

30. "Women like men without poo on their foreheads. That's our 'type'."

- Series One, 'IT Crowd'.

31. "Oh what kind of man would want to photograph a bunch of beautiful women without any clothes on, Roy?"

- Series Three, 'IT Crowd'.

32. "Jen: Look at that face. Who would want to roleplay with that face?

Roy: I'm sorry Jen, I'm not just feeling it tonight.

Jen: Well, then fake it sweetheart."

- Series Four, 'IT Crowd'.

33. "I hated them until I realized they don't want me at those meetings, and now I love those meetings."

- Series Three, 'IT Crowd'.

Best Of Douglas 'IT Crowd' Quotes

A later addition to the show, the overly dramatic and eccentric Douglas Reynholm becomes the CEO of Reynholm Industries in series two. If you love Douglas from the IT department, then you're going to love these Douglas quotes!

34. "Spacestar Ordering is based on the twin scientific principles of star-maths and wishy-thinking."

- Series Four, 'IT Crowd'.

35. "Unhand me, priest! ...Father!"

- Series Two, 'IT Crowd'.

36. "Well, yeah, you could come here. We could put on some music. I could give you a backrub, see what happens."

- Series Two, 'IT Crowd'.

37. "Gambling? No, no. I was riding a horse and it fell out of my pocket."

- Series Three, 'IT Crowd'.

38. "I didn't want to come to this, Jen. But would you like a cup of tea?"

- Series Two, 'IT Crowd'.

39. "I took some of my pension money out of the bank and lost it on a horse."

- Series Three, 'IT Crowd'.

40. "You there, computer man! Fix my pants."

- Series Three, 'IT Crowd'.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for 'IT Crowd' quotes then why not take a look at Tina Belcher quotes, or [Dwight Schrute quotes]?

Author

Written By

Kidadl Team

The Kidadl Team is made up of people from different walks of life, from different families and backgrounds, each with unique experiences and nuggets of wisdom to share with you. From lino cutting to surfing to children’s mental health, their hobbies and interests range far and wide. They are passionate about turning your everyday moments into memories and bringing you inspiring ideas to have fun with your family.

Was this article helpful?

Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more

By joining Kidadl you agree to Kidadl’s and and consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl.