30+ Nut Jokes That Walnut Disappoint

Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Dec 12, 2023 By Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Originally Published on Dec 22, 2020
Edited by Monisha Kochhar
Peanut butter spread on white bread.
Age: 0-99
Read time: 4.8 Min

Ever wondered what would make one of the best nut jokes?

Well, technically, everything about nuts can make a funny nut joke. Nut jokes that are also squirrels jokes are a popular favorite, but there is also a vast array of possibilities for such jokes that surely walnut disappoint anyonelooking for a hearty laugh.

Nuts are nothing but fruits that come hidden inside the hard, inedible shell. Once you crack this shell open there's an edible seed that can be eaten or even used in culinary experiences.

A joke about nuts can comprise chestnut jokes, peanut joke, walnut jokes, acorn jokes as well as cashew jokes. If you love peanut butter, we sure have some hilarious peanut butter jokes that will make you search for more and share the nuts joke with your family and friends.

If you want to read some fruit funnies, check this list of Peach Puns, and for a bready read, check these Dough Puns.

Funny Nut Jokes

Assortment of nuts in bowls

Looking for a nut joke to crack in front of your nut-lover friends? This is the right list that will help you with your search for a funny joke that you can count on for laughter.

1. How do you get a squirrel to like you? By climbing on a tree and pretending to be a nut!

2. How does a nutty tree walk through the forest? It takes the psycho-path.

3. How do nuts have a fun life during vacations? They all go to acorn-ival.

4. What does a squirrel eat during a baseball game? Acorn dog.

5. What do you call the nut that makes a big entrance at parties? The Maca-drama-ia nuts.

6. Where are nuts supposed to refill their energy? The shell station.

7. Which nut is beneficial while playing tag with friends? Catch yous.

8. Which tree is the cowboys' favorite one? The horse chestnut tree.

9. Who would name their daughter Macadamia? Just a couple of nuts.

10. Why was almond running on the busy highway? Because it was nuts.

Popular Nut Jokes

Life can be made happy by adding a few popular jokes into daily conversations. A funny nut joke can prove to be more helpful than just a simple laugh, as you can explore different nuts and use their punny nuances for a hearty experience.

11. How do you react when someone eats all your cashews? That is nut a thing to be proud of.

12. What did the squirrel eat after breaking down a car? It eats nuts and bolts, all of them.

13. What kind of nuts do you get in cans? Creamed aCorn.

14. What nuts are stored with treasure? Chest-nuts.

15. When can Macadamia nuts make you feel good? When they come complimentary.

16. Which is the simplest place to learn about pecans? The internut.

17. Which nut is supposed to travel to the moon and other planets? An astro-nut.

18. Which nut is the most expensive and valuable of all nuts? Cash-ew.

19. Who do you think eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel does, the one who's in hurry.

20. Why did the squirrel cross the road? To get the nuts.

21. Where do squirrels keep the clothes in winter? Well, I do-nut know!

Funny Peanut Jokes

Peanut is a legume that can be associated with a punny joke or two. Most of us have had a peanut at least once in their lifetime, so why not relish this beautiful tasting nut as well as its byproduct of peanut butter and make hilarious jokes?

22. How can one catch an elephant? One needs to act like a peanut.

23. What does a squirrel like to drink on tropical vacations? A peanut colada.

24. What is a lawyer's all-time favorite snack? Plea-nut.

25. Which is the annual nuts competition the nuts look forward to? The peanut butter cup.

26. Who is in charge of answering a door at the nuthouse? The peanut butler.

27. Why are peanuts donated to high-school booster clubs? Because they are pro-teen.

28. Why would an elephant cross the road? To get the peanuts.

Nutty Jokes About Nuts

Do you ever feel like you are going absolutely nuts in your life? If not you, here are jokes related to nuts that will make you go nutty!

29. What did the monkey say to the squirrel during the race? You walnut get there.

30. What do the wild turkeys and squirrels drink at a breakfast party? A nut-tea.

31. What do you say when someone cracks a nut joke? Well, that jokes nut funny.

32. What play would a squirrel be a part of? The nutcracker.

33. Which nut is bad for anyone's diet? A donut.

34. Why did the girl leave chestnuts out in the rain? She wanted them rusted.

35. Why did a boy end up wrapping dollar bills on his feet? His mother asked him to get cash-shoes.

Knock Knock Nut Jokes

Knock-knock jokes never get old. Check these few jokes for a funny to-and-fro conversation with your friends.

34. Knock, knock.

Who is it?


Butter who?

I butter nut tell you.

35. Knock, knock.

Who is it?


Cash, who?

No, thanks. I prefer peanuts!

36. Knock, knock.

Who is there out?


Cash who?

Oh god, I should've known you were nuts.

37. Knock Knock.

Who is it?


Cashew who?

Bless you!

38. Knock, knock.

Who is there outside?


Nut who?

Nut gonna stand here all day for you.

39. Knock knock.

Who is outside?


Peanut who?

Peanut, butter open the door.

40. Knock, knock.

Who is it?


Walnut who?

I walnut tell it is a secret.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Nuts Jokes then you will like this set of Berry Puns, or for something with a sweet-tooth you will love his hilarious Waffle Puns.

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Written by Rajnandini Roychoudhury

Bachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

Rajnandini Roychoudhury picture

Rajnandini RoychoudhuryBachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

With a Master of Arts in English, Rajnandini has pursued her passion for the arts and has become an experienced content writer. She has worked with companies such as Writer's Zone and has had her writing skills recognized by publications such as The Telegraph. Rajnandini is also trilingual and enjoys various hobbies such as music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading classic British literature. 

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