50+ Best (And Worst) Cop Jokes

Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Dec 12, 2023 By Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Originally Published on Dec 02, 2020
Edited by Monisha Kochhar
Police Officers in dress with white background.
Age: 0-99
Read time: 8.3 Min

The police force is an essential part of our lives in modern society.

Tasked with maintaining law and order in states and cities, the police are viewed as modern-day superheroes. However, we can still enjoy police jokes here and there!

Police humor may include all kinds of jokes. They can consist of cop puns, detective jokes, sheriff jokes, state trooper jokes, and many others.

Law enforcement humor on the internet is also notorious for some of the worst cop jokes. If you tell the police a cop joke from some of the worst jokes, they might actually arrest you!

However, you must also be careful not to cross the line while telling a joke about police forces because they put their lives on the line for us, and we should be respectful towards them. Yet, that shouldn't stop us from engaging in this list containing some good, old-fashioned police humor that is bound to make you laugh.

If you are interested in more such jokes and puns, then go through these other articles all about superhero puns and school puns.

Funny Cop Jokes

American policeman and police car in the background

Looking to tell a police joke that will make everyone laugh? Well, here are some of the best law enforcement jokes that one can easily modify into short cop jokes and the best cop one-liners.

1. What is the name of a female police officer playing the electric guitar? Her name is the she-riff!

2. When the police pulled me over for speeding, I said to him, "What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?" The police officer replied, "Keep it. When you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."

3. Did the police arrest the robber who was only stealing wheels from the police cars? No, they haven't caught him yet but are working tirelessly to catch them!

4. Why did the police arrest the turkey down the road? Because it had been suspected of foul play.

5. What do you call the police officer who specializes in computer-related crimes? You call that officer a troubleshooter.

6. When would you find a police officer sleeping during duty hours? When the officer is under cover.

7. Which cop is the strongest in the entire world? The traffic police is the strongest cop in the entire world because he can stop even the biggest of trucks with just a wave of the hand.

8. Why was the energizer bunny arrested by the police? Because it was charged with battery!

9. What happened to the thief who was caught by the police for stealing a valuable lamp? The thief got a light sentence!

10. What is the kind of topping that a cop hates on his morning toast? Traffic jam.

11. What happened when the officer pulled over the celebrity actor for drunk-driving? The police took a cellfie with him.

12. Why do most volleyball players turn into great officers of the law? Because they know how to serve and protect!

13. Why had the officer looked forward to arresting the winner of the fastest hot dog eating competition? Because the winner had been speeding.

14. What is the name of the cop who also hosts a TV news show every night? His name is Anderson Cop-per.

15. Which team was the cop assigned to after he demonstrated his skills in catching flies? The cop was assigned to the SWAT team.

16. Who did the toy store owner call when all the real estate board games went missing from his shop? He immediately called the Mono-Police.

17. What did the optician say to the police when they arrested him for murder? "Officer, I am being framed for murder!"

18. What is the name of the music band that cops listen to on the car radio? They listen to 'The Police'.

19. Why did the police detectives set up offices all along the beach? Because they were expecting a crime wave.

20. Why was the sketch artist wrongly fired from his job by the police? It had been a case of mistaken identity.

21. What do you call the special branch of police who checks whether everyone is well dressed or not? You call them the Fashion Police.

22. What is the most common way that one cop will greet another cop when they meet somewhere? They tell each other, "Policed to meet and talk with you!"

23. Which is the only day in the calendar when an undercover cop is in his police uniform? It is the day that the cop is not on duty.

24. Which day of the week is the favorite day for the police all across the world? Cops are thrilled when they get to FineDay!

25. When the police caught the low-powered robot driving around in the car, what did he say to the robot? He said, "You are going to be charged with battery!"

26. What do you say when your friend wants to hear a really cool joke about the police from you? You say, "Freeze!"

Cringy Police Jokes

This list is all that you will require to tell a policeman joke that is so bad that it will make everyone laugh. Well, you have the green signal to go through these cop jokes, so what are you waiting for?

27. Why did the police officer arrest the celery? It was because he was charged with stalking.

28. Which is the only place in town that has 24/7 police protection from thieves and robbers? Your neighborhood donut shop.

29. Why did the police officer charge the ghost and arrest him? Because the ghost was working without the proper haunting license.

30. What do you when a cop pulls you over to give you a ticket and asks you for papers? You reply scissors and drive off!

31. Did the police officer arrest the old lady who shot someone for stepping on the part of the floor she had just mopped? No, the officer did not arrest her because the floor was still wet.

32. Why did the police officer arrest a bottle of water driving down the road? Because it was wanted in as many as three states: gas, solid, and liquid.

33. What do you say when a policeman or a state trooper does overtime? You say he is on the copper nitrate.

34. Why were there so many police officers and detectives at the baseball game? Because someone had reported the base to be stolen.

35. Why did the policeman lock up his lover? Because the officer had his heart stolen by her.

36. Why was the thief who was wearing blue gloves not caught by the police? Because they couldn't catch him red-handed!

37. What is the most favorite gardening show of the various police departments across the world? They love watching the show 'Lawn Order'!

38. Why did so many police officers and just one fire truck show up when there was a fire at a shop? It was because the fire was at a donut shop.

39. Why did the coffee call the police so early in the morning? He called because he had been mugged!

40. What did the police assure the old lady who had lost her wig in the locality? They said they would comb the area.

41. Why did the cop pull over the car, which had many weird paintings and drawings in different colors all across it? Because this was a case of graphic violation.

42. Why was the cop arrested on suspicion of cannibalism? Because he was caught grilling all the suspects.

43. Why do you call a cop that has learned how to fly? A heli-cop-ter.

44 Why did the bicycle cops not stop the thieves from stealing gasoline from the pump? Because they were not on petrol!

45. What happened when a rock band drummer decided to join the police academy? He graduated as a beat cop.

46. Why did the police arrest the doctor while he was checking a patient? Because he was accused of taking the patient's pulse!

47. What do you name the sickness where someone falls ill just by seeing a cop car driving behind them? You say that the person is suffering from cop sick shock syndrome.

48. What did the suspect say when the cop asked what he was doing between 5 and 6? The suspect replied he was in nursery school at that time.

49. Why do cows never get to be great police officers? Because they are petrified of being part of a steak-out while on duty!

50. How were bugs allowed to be a part of the state troopers? Because they form an important part of the po-lice.

51. What was the reason given when the space police arrested a star with no apparent cause? The police officer told the press that the arrest was made because it was a shooting star.

52. Why was the famous sculptor recruited to the police department? Because the sculptor had excellent skills for busts.

53. Why did the hardcover book want to join the police department? Because he had a strong desire to go undercover.

Knock-Knock Police Jokes

Here are a few knock-knock jokes perfectly suited for police humor. And, if you don't find them funny, you never know when the jokes police might turn up at your front door to arrest you.

54. Knock, knock!

Who's there?


Police who?

Please hurry up and open the door!

55. Knock, knock!

Who is there?

It is me.

Me who?

The cop crocodile!

Oh, so you are the investi-gator!

56. Knock, knock!

Who is there?

It is us.

Us who?



FBI, Open up!

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly puns for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for cop jokes then why not take a look at Doctor Puns, or for something different take a look at Biology Puns.

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Written by Rajnandini Roychoudhury

Bachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

Rajnandini Roychoudhury picture

Rajnandini RoychoudhuryBachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

With a Master of Arts in English, Rajnandini has pursued her passion for the arts and has become an experienced content writer. She has worked with companies such as Writer's Zone and has had her writing skills recognized by publications such as The Telegraph. Rajnandini is also trilingual and enjoys various hobbies such as music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading classic British literature. 

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