50+ Time Jokes And Puns That Won't Waste Yours

Joan Agie
Dec 12, 2023 By Joan Agie
Originally Published on Jan 06, 2021
Edited by Monisha Kochhar
Hand adjusting the minute hand on a clock.

While time might be an invisible force that governs everyday life, it doesn't have to be all serious and mysterious. In fact, time can be downright hilarious, packed with jokes and puns that are perfect for every age.

So, why not jump aboard this laughter express and take a joyful ride through the universe of time-themed humor? From kids giggling at a well-placed punchline to grandparents chuckling at timeless classics, these jokes are sure to brighten everyone's day.

Whether you're waiting for the minute hand to hit snack time or counting the seconds until your next family gathering, these playful time jokes and puns are your ticket to a world of fun. The next time you glance at your wristwatch, don't be surprised if a smile sneaks onto your face as you remember these delightful quips.

Now, dive into this collection of the best time jokes and puns that are guaranteed to keep the good times rolling!

Time-Themed Humor To Watch Out For

Ready to have a blast with time jokes? Strap in for a delightful journey filled with the best and brightest time-themed chuckles. Great for times when you're stuck watching the clock or if you simply want to make a moment more memorable, these fun-filled jokes are sure to make time fly.

1. What do you call it when you put a clock under your desk? Working overtime.

2. What time is it when an elephant sits on a clock? Time to get a new clock.

3. Which animal always knows the time? A watch-dog.

4. Why did the girl sit on the clock? She just wanted to be on time.

5. What do unwound clocks say to their owners? "It's about time!"

6. Why should you stop to purchase a clock when you're running late? That way, you buy some extra time.

7. Why did the scientist put a wristwatch into the flask? He wanted a timely solution to his research problem.

8. When do you take a clock to the gazebo? When it's time out.

9. What do you call it when a shop gives out clocks with half a face at a good discount? A limited-time sale.

10. Why did Bob Dylan adjust all the clocks? Because he thought, "For the times they are a-changin' ".

11. Around what time do most people visit the dentist? At tooth-hurty.

12. Why do rich people buy a lot of clocks? Because time is money.

13. How do you know that witches are carrying time bombs? You hear their brooms tick.

Witty One-Liner Time Puns

It's time to laugh at wacky time punsthat will wind you up in joy! From clock hands to minutes ticking away, these clever quips are a timely dose of fun. So get set to join in and unravel some of the best time puns with your buddies!

14. An ingredient that never arrives on time is choco-late.

15. I wonder why the historian measured a clock. Maybe he wanted to know the beginning and the end of time.

16. Hands down, 6:30 is the best time on the clock.

17. Eating a clock is really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

18. They are finally making a movie about clocks. The movie is "It's About Time!"

19. I saw so many people smashing their clocks yesterday. They said they just wanted to kill time.

20. I held up my wall clock to the mirror. It was time for reflection.

21. If the Leaning Tower of Pisa gets a clock face, it will have time and inclination.

22. If you see a billboard with a picture of a wall clock on it, it's a sign of the times.

Funny Clock Puns And Jokes

Hand adjusting the minute hand on a clock.

Who says clocks are just for telling time? They're also fantastic for telling jokes!

Check out this collection of clock puns that tick all the right boxes for fun and laughter. Whether you're an early bird or a night owl, these tick-tock teasers are as timely as they are hilarious. So, get set to unwind and have a grand time with these clock-tastic puns!

23. My husband was not happy with the castle-shaped clock I bought for his birthday. But it's the fort that counts.

24. If you bother the clock, it might just get ticked off.

25. Wall clocks probably just hang around after they stop ticking.

26. I bought a 24-hour clock yesterday but it has stopped working already. It only lasted a day!

27. I wonder if a clever clock is called clockwise.

28. "At the third stroke it will be 5 o'clock, my precious", said my brand new Tolkien clock.

29. There's a contest to find the country's best chronometer. So I have put my best clock forward.

30. A clock on the moon. Why, that's called a lunar-tick.

31. I don't want to see that clock on the phone anymore. The TikToks are so annoying!

32. Where did the clock finish her race? Wherever she wound up.

33. Why was the clock called to the principal's office? It was tocking too much.

34. Do you know when ducks wake up? At the quack of dawn.

35. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a clock? A cluck.

36. How do you know a clock is hungry? It goes back four seconds.

37. How do clocks greet each other? They say, "Hour you doing?"

38. What did the tick ask the clock? "Hey, what are you tocking about?"

39. What does the second hand say to the hour hand when they meet? "See you again in a minute buddy!"

40. What do street clocks say to the tower clocks? "High there!"

One-Liner Alarm Puns And Jokes

Ever been jolted awake by your alarm clock and wished it had a sense of humor? Well, buckle up, because these alarm puns and jokes are about to ring in a good time!

These aren't your everyday, run-of-the-mill beeps and buzzes; these are witty one-liners that will tickle your funny bone and help you start your day with a smile. It's time to hit snooze on the mundane and wake up to a world of alarm-clock hilarity!

41. My husband got me a timer clock out of the blue. Boy, was I alarmed!

42. The milkmaid put an alarm clock in her shoe. She didn't want her feet to fall asleep while she was working.

43. I wonder why my alarm watch doesn't work. Perhaps it needs a hand.

44. I went to the Halloween party as an alarm timer. But it was really irritating when people started to wind me up.

Timeless Watch Puns

Here's a trove of watch puns that'll have you checking your wrist in laughter! If you're a fan of digital dazzlers or classic chronometers, these puns are sure to add a touch of humor to your timekeeping. Dive into these pun-tastic jokes that are a timely reminder of how fun it can be to watch time fly!

45. A pocket watch is great for everyone. Even better if you don't like to have time on your hands.

46. The watch's second hand was telling a story to the minute hand. That's called second-hand information.

47. The man threw his watch out of the window. They say he wanted to see time fly.

48. It’s important to always remove your watch before telling any secrets. Time will tell.

Grandfather Clock Humor That'll Take You Back In Time

Ever been captivated by the gentle tick-tock of a grand old grandfather clock? Well, these majestic timekeepers aren't just soothing to the ears, they're a goldmine of humor, too!

Get ready to embark on a delightful journey back in time with these grandfather clock jokes. From the heirloom elegance of yesteryears to today's digital age, these timeless classics will resonate with everyone.

49. Why is it difficult to bring yourself to get rid of a grandfather clock? Because it's a timeless piece.

50. What is another name for a grandfather clock? An old timer.

51. What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? "Look, I have no hands!"

52. What do you say when you find out that your grandfather clock is infested with bugs? "Time flies!"


Time's up on this delightful journey through the world of time-themed jokes and puns, but the laughter doesn't have to end here! From quick chuckles to timeless classics, you've explored a universe of humor that appeals to both young and old.

The great thing? These jokes never go out of style and are perfect for sharing with family and friends.

So go ahead, wind up your day with a smile, and don't forget to share the joy of these tick-tock teasers. After all, time flies when you're having fun, and there's always a minute to spare for a good laugh!

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Written by Joan Agie

Bachelor of Science specializing in Human Anatomy

Joan Agie picture

Joan AgieBachelor of Science specializing in Human Anatomy

With 3+ years of research and content writing experience across several niches, especially on education, technology, and business topics. Joan holds a Bachelor’s degree in Human Anatomy from the Federal University of Technology, Akure, Nigeria, and has worked as a researcher and writer for organizations across Nigeria, the US, the UK, and Germany. Joan enjoys meditation, watching movies, and learning new languages in her free time.

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